Singles’ Awareness Day

That would be what my friend kindly dubs Valentine’s day, seeing as I hate the holiday so much.  I don’t have the heart to point out that I am dreadfully aware of my single-status the rest of the year and I don’t really need a day when the awareness becomes painfully acute.

On a brighter side, I went to a part last night.  Another friend of mine has the misfortune of being born on Valentine’s day and, to compensate, had a small gathering in his home for the first time… and probably the last, if his mother has anything to say about it.

The first half of the party was brilliant.  I was tipsy and on a high, two of the participants were staggering around and being hilarious and the conversation was good.  Then, then I managed to get squished between the two happy couples who, for the sake of this blog, with be known as Selene and Ryan (couple 1) and Georgie and Bill (couple 2).  I’d also like to point out that ‘Selene’ is my younger sister and there is nothing more disgusting than watching her and her boyfriend suck each other’s faces off.  Needless to say, the unashamed public display of affection did not help my self-esteem and I started to hit the second stage of drunkenness; mild depression and tendency to burst out crying without prior notice.  I managed not to cry, though I became pretty close at several points.

Meanwhile, couple 2 had separated and were now doing separate things.  Bill, I was warned, turns into a make-out monster when he’s drunk but, to be honest, that didn’t worry me because this was before he hooked up with Georgie.  I didn’t really expect him to ask if he could kiss me, in front of his girlfriend of less than a month.  So I laughed and said “only if your girlfriend says you can.”  I was not expected Georgie to reply “sure, go ahead, so long as I get to kiss her afterwards.”

Thanks Georgie.

Bill slobbers when he’s drunk, by the way.  It wasn’t entirely unpleasant but I decided against kissing back and gently pushed away after he went in for a second one.  Thankfully, I managed to escape last night with the title ‘the only one in the room Georgie hadn’t snogged’.  However, as one of the few relatively sober people, I somehow ended up looking after her staggering boyfriend for the rest of the night.

This was how, a few hours later, I ended up sitting next to Bill who was just lying on the floor.  My job was to ensure he didn’t knock over anything with his flailing arms and after a while he stopped moving.  Bill was still for a good ten minutes, so I decided it was safe enough to lie down as well, because I was kinda sleepy, with my head somewhere by his knees.  I got disturbed almost immediately when I was whacked in the head by Bill’s arm on his way down (or up, from his point of view) to grope my chest.  This was easily sorted by grabbing onto his wrist.  Despite being male, Bill is femininely proportioned and not very strong, even when sober.  So, for whatever reasons, Bill decided to sit up and try to wrestle his wrist from my grip that way.  Failing again.

At some point during the proceedings, Bill had stopped struggling and was staring at my eyes, rather than my chest for once (being chubby has some advantages, like having a nice rack).  Someone called out my name and, naturally, I looked away to see who.  Only to find my attention was needed elsewhere because Bill was kissing me again.  Moving my mouth resulted in having my cheeks slobbered over and verbal protests had no effect as far as I could discern.  So, eventually, I attempted to push Bill off and discovered that weak does not necessarily equal light.

I’m sure everyone will be glad to know that my second and third kisses were lovely experiences.

 

Grimmychan 1; Technology 0

Hello, dear Reader.

I apologise for my tardiness and my lack of updates, though I suspect no one reads this.  My computer and my laptop had given way to the onslaught of viruses that I subjected them to, due to not bothering to install an anti-virus program once the licence on my previous one ran out.

However, my dearest father has figured out a way to resurrect my computer (though my laptop is still waiting the technology graveyard that is my father’s place of work).  I now have internet and Word, dear sweet Word, whom I never knew I could miss so much.  No longer must I share a slow, trundling fossil of a computer with my mother.  I have my own back!

I have also discovered the joys of mozilla and the themes.  Though google chrome has these too, there are not nearly so many nor are they so varied.  I looked through several pages of Twilight and Naruto themes and came to the conclusion that when the system has over 30,000 themes, they should really have a search facility of some sort rather than six or seven rather vague categories.

I eventually settled on a theme of Sephiroth with his one wing stretched out across my browser.  It looks very pretty and anyone who has failed to  play Final Fantasy will not recognise him because the space where you type in the website address (yes, marvel at my mastery of technological terms) is on top of his face.  However, it still looks brilliant and I commend the photoshop user who created it.

Speaking of which, all I need to do is salvage my photos and my photoshop program.  My father’s solution to my viruses means that I have very almost started afresh and am without many of my previous luxuries.  But I will find a way because I am not reinstalling it (it took three hours last time and that doesn’t include all the paintbrushes I downloaded) under any circumstances.

Sleep of the Dead

Which, dear reader, I have not experienced in a while.

I appear to be suffering from a bout of insomnia and am currently rather cranky as a result.  The last time I slept was after my party, on Monday, for approximately four hours.

Speaking of my party… most people dropped out at the last minute.  So I was left with three people, plus two more that one of my guests managed to drag along.  What wonderful friends I have.  Though, I do admit, the party was very fun.  We stayed up most the night drinking alcohol and chatting.  My dad also slid across the grass after setting up the fireworks… I felt bad for laughing but in my defence I was drunk.

On a brighter note, I am two days into my diet, having done my spell and I have stuck to it religiously.  Only time will tell if that will remain to be true.

Beginning Again

Morning Reader,

  I used to be a witch, of sorts.  I’m self-taught and I’ve never even so much as seen a real coven and I skipped a lot of stuff, probably important stuff, so I gave it up a couple of years ago.  I had forgotten why.

  It might have had something to do with lack of belief.  It might have been to do with my parent’s strict Christianity and the guilt the subterfuge caused me.  But more likely, I think it was the damn expense the whole thing caused and trying to keep the stuff in my room without my mother finding it.

  I’d forgotten about the endless amounts of candles, incense and essential oils and how much it all costs.  Unfortunately, still no credit card until I can find myself a job, so the wonderfully reduced prices of ebay were off-limits.  Until that is, my Saviour arrived.

  Now, Saviour is willing to provide me with the service of buying the stuff via ebay for the modest fee of being invited to my party.  Oh, and I pay for the stuff as well, post and packaging included, but that’s a given.

  So within the next ten working days, in drips and drabs, I should receive my three candles and 150 sticks of incense for less than £20.  Which is way less than I would have to pay if I trawled around my local shops for the stuff.   Of course, if I lived next to Ikea, this wouldn’t be a problem but I’m still skittish of motorways so, for now, I’ll deal with ebay.

  Once the stuff arrives, I’ll re-consecrate my stuff and wait patiently for after my birthday.  I also forgot about the whole phases of the moon thing and, typically, the moon doesn’t start waning until my birthday.  So yeah, until next time.

Mood Swings

Hello my dear reader,

Perhaps I haven’t yet mentioned, my personality isn’t that stable and I used to be prone to mood swings which could happen at the drop of a hat.  So any PMSing used to go completely unnoticed.  Then I developed some control and my mood swings became restricted to the inside of my head and heart… oh, and my darling mother who knows just how to get under my skin at the end of a long day.

There’s nothing wrong with my mother, I love her dearly.  Unfortunately, she babbles, something which I find infuriating at the best of times.  So when I come home and want to take a nap, the last thing I want is for her to demand why I’m sleeping.

I admit, taking naps during the day is very unusual for me, so it did warrant an explanation.  The reason?  The cake that I’d spent two hours making for my friend, was eaten while I was still in lessons so I didn’t get a slice.  Not much, I know, but combined with PMS, a stalker 1st year, yet another dead end trying to find a part-time job and absolutely no one who I feel I can talk to about this, well…. you get the idea.

Have I mentioned the stalker before?  I don’t believe I have.  She’s a first year who is actually my age (failed her first year or something and moved down here so she has no friends).  I felt sorry for her, saw a little bit of myself in her, so I decided I’d be nice and be her friend.

She.  Is.  So.  Boring.

She also invades my personal space and insists on following me.  The guys call her “New Friend”, so that’s how I’ll refer to her from now on.  Almost all of them find her annoying, no.3 really seems to hate her.  But it’s been over a month now and I think we’re stuck with her.

I seem to have gotten off track.  I came home and answered my mother, that some of the guys had eaten the cake.  Darling, dearest Mum goes off on a ten minute rant that can only be described as slander against my friends, then proceeds to nag me about cleaning my room…. am I the only person who feels this is not the best way to make a person feel better?

  Oh well, I suppose I’ll just have to grin and bare it.  On a brighter note, it’s back to paganism for me.  Diets aren’t working so I’ll try my hand at some magic, hopefully I’m not too rusty.

Boredom, thou art my most valiant foe

Hello Reader,

As you probably have noticed, I’m bored. On a weekend. If I had a proper social life, this would not happen but as it is, I am friends with geeks who’s idea of fun is being absorbed in Halo Reach. I can’t play Halo Reach, I don’t have the money, the technogoly, the patience or, probably, the talent.

My birthday is coming up, so I have to get the party organised. It’s just going to be a house-party with my friends. Though seeing as my mother is a control freak, it’s going to be interesting once my guests start throwing up all over the place. Joy. Maybe I can convince my dad to get her out of the house for the first few hours? Probably not.

Oh, not that it matters to anyone but while I remember; I told no. 3. He took it rather well, nothing seems to have changed but he thankfully hasn’t asked me for advice with his crush again. So, to all intents and purposes, it worked. I just now have to stitch my heart back together and thank whatever diety is responsible for allowing my wrist to heal without scarring.

Back to the party; I should, if I’m lucky, have something interesting happen. I’ll have some girls there, finally, and maybe the guys will be drunk enough to do something funny. I might even invite the friend who is still dating no.2, though I’m not entirely sure. I have no problem with homosexuals or bisexuals, or even people who just act like that when they’re drunk…. but I get seriously uncomfortable when she starts kissing my neck.

I had no idea what to ask my parents for this year though. Normally, I’ve got something set up months in advance… this year I decided, off the top of my head, for membership at the local gym. I pop in pretty much twice a week anyway, it’s really eating a hole into my budget.

Three Strikes and I’m Out

Hi Reader, how’s it going?

  So that you know a little bit about me, I’m from England and doing my second year of Alevels.  Hoping to do Psychology at Uni and study criminals for a living.

  I’m a girl, in case that hasn’t already translated, and so far I have no love life to speak of.  At least, not in the proper sense.

  I’m not ugly, this came to me after twenty minutes of staring at myself in the mirror and comparing myself to magazine covers when I was fourteen.  However, I am fat.  Not obesce, just round but this still seems to come across guys as the same thing; totally undate-able.

  I have developed three crushes in my time amongst guys (prior to last year, I was imprisoned in an all girls’ school).  The firsrt one didn’t even notice me, he found my best friend far more intersting and ended up dating my younger sister for a three month period.  Oh joy.

  Number two was the younger of a pair of twins.  Nice guy, liked bigger girls so I thought I was in for a chance.  Spent many, many evenings talking to him on the phone late at night.  He decided he’d rather date a friend of mine.  They’re still very much together and I wish them all the best… now.

  In the beginning I hated my friend with a vengence, as did no. 2′s elder twin brother.  Elder twin was very kind to me during the recovery period and we bonded over a mutual hatred of his brother’s girlfriend.  I saw what I thought were signs that the elder twin liked me, other people confirmed that it did very much look like he was crushing on me.

  At the time, I was scared of how I would deal with the elder twin confessing but summer came and I didn’t have to.  We kept contact though and over the summer, with much urging from friends, I began to think that maybe there was potential in a relationship with the elder twin. So elder twin became crush no. 3.

  I came back to college and experienced day-to-day contact with no. 3.  He was flirting, no doubt about it and I flirted back.  I really thought that maybe I could expect to have some progress with this relationship, maybe even my first boyfriend.

  Today he took me aside and asked my opinion on something.  He told me about a girl he likes, that is giving him the ring around because she’s still sleeping with her ex even though she wants a relationship with him.  Clearly not me.  Today is the first time I have cut myself in three years.

  So, in summary.  No. 1 dated my sister.  No. 2 chose my friend.  No. 3 considers me such a great friend that he confides his relationship problems with.  Three strikes and I’m out.

FML

Grimmy-chan