Three Strikes and I’m Out

Hi Reader, how’s it going?

  So that you know a little bit about me, I’m from England and doing my second year of Alevels.  Hoping to do Psychology at Uni and study criminals for a living.

  I’m a girl, in case that hasn’t already translated, and so far I have no love life to speak of.  At least, not in the proper sense.

  I’m not ugly, this came to me after twenty minutes of staring at myself in the mirror and comparing myself to magazine covers when I was fourteen.  However, I am fat.  Not obesce, just round but this still seems to come across guys as the same thing; totally undate-able.

  I have developed three crushes in my time amongst guys (prior to last year, I was imprisoned in an all girls’ school).  The firsrt one didn’t even notice me, he found my best friend far more intersting and ended up dating my younger sister for a three month period.  Oh joy.

  Number two was the younger of a pair of twins.  Nice guy, liked bigger girls so I thought I was in for a chance.  Spent many, many evenings talking to him on the phone late at night.  He decided he’d rather date a friend of mine.  They’re still very much together and I wish them all the best… now.

  In the beginning I hated my friend with a vengence, as did no. 2’s elder twin brother.  Elder twin was very kind to me during the recovery period and we bonded over a mutual hatred of his brother’s girlfriend.  I saw what I thought were signs that the elder twin liked me, other people confirmed that it did very much look like he was crushing on me.

  At the time, I was scared of how I would deal with the elder twin confessing but summer came and I didn’t have to.  We kept contact though and over the summer, with much urging from friends, I began to think that maybe there was potential in a relationship with the elder twin. So elder twin became crush no. 3.

  I came back to college and experienced day-to-day contact with no. 3.  He was flirting, no doubt about it and I flirted back.  I really thought that maybe I could expect to have some progress with this relationship, maybe even my first boyfriend.

  Today he took me aside and asked my opinion on something.  He told me about a girl he likes, that is giving him the ring around because she’s still sleeping with her ex even though she wants a relationship with him.  Clearly not me.  Today is the first time I have cut myself in three years.

  So, in summary.  No. 1 dated my sister.  No. 2 chose my friend.  No. 3 considers me such a great friend that he confides his relationship problems with.  Three strikes and I’m out.

FML

Grimmy-chan